HAPPY FATHERS DAY ..... mom! :]

Well, as most people know, my father is unknown and my Mother played the role of Mom AND Dad so here's a little blog of appreciation to her for all the struggles she has pulled through while she was packing me around with her. Here are some words that my Mom wrote me in a book that she gave me as a gift.

"My joy as a mother began the moment I knew life was stirring inside me. And those next few months, waiting for you to arrive, were a ride of excitement, joy, nervousness and "first time" experiences. Underneath the excitement, I wondered if I was ready for you. But deep inside, I suspected that those feelings were just nature's way of changing things around and making room for you. Wow, what a feeling... excitement for the tiny beating heart inside me. and then concern for how will I do this all on my own? What will Grandma Ann think? and where is that man that swept me off my feet? How will I ever find him again? The story behind your name goes like this. it was going to be Ashley or Jocelyn... when i laid eyes on you for the first time, I exclaimed: "Shes a beauty, shes a beauty! Look at her tiny hands and feet oh my goodness shes so pretty my little Ashley Ann." Finally when you were here I held Heaven in my arms. I remember watching you sleep thinking of how many big dreams were dancing behind those tiny eyelids. My hopes and dreams then, was to be able to protect you from harm. I hoped to find your father so that we could share the joy together and he would be a part of your life! The most memorable milestone was when you were learning to ride your first two wheeler alone and you finally got it! You turned around to see if I was watching... and you crashed! Ouch!
You weren't little anymore when you wanted to go to the movies by yourself and pick out your own styles of clothes. Miss independent. First time I saw you as a young lady was your first prom with your first corsage... my eyes filled with tears as I starred at your infinite beauty and realized what a beautiful young lady you've become. I only wished your father could have been there with me! As our relationship continues i look forward to the moment you become a mother for the first time and see the miracle of creation and birth. See you with the joy of motherhood on your face. That is when the relationship of a mother and daughter become ever sooo strong. and only a mother can truly experience that feeling of closeness with her child! I knew someday you would leave and have your own hopes and dreams to fulfill and no one else can live your life for you. Discover yourself and be happy with who you are. I wish you strength through challenges, wisdom to choose battles carefully,serenity from your inner voice while the world rushes around you. Now my hopes and dreams for you are that you continue to set and reach your goals as you have been. That all YOUR dreams may come true! What I miss most about you being little was how curious you were about EVERYTHING. and as you were learning to walk if you stumbled I would be there to catch you. and that proud look on 'Grandma Ann's' face as she showed you off to the whole world! Your little precious voice always asked, "Whas tha Mommy?" What I love most about the daughter you are now... Is the daughter you've become... from all your life experiences and unfortunate trauma's (and you've had more than most people in a lifetime) You've bloomed into the most caring person I know. You have a huge heart of gold for everyone. You are the very strength of our family. You are so wise beyond your years. I look up to you. I love and thank you for that! Love, Mom"


If I could sum up all the expression of gratitude in words, I could end up writing an endless novel for my love and appreciation for you Mom. We have been through a lot together and life has not always been easy but I promise to never forget all you have done. Even though some times have been so rocky with lifes trials, know that I love you tremendously. As much as I have wished to know my father throughout all my life and wished he could of been there too, YOU have always been enough. You are my favorite person and when its just you and I hanging out I couldn't be more happy. I love you Mama, thank you so much for all your kindness and supporting me to serve an LDS Mission. I hope and pray that our relationship will only grow closer even with the distance of miles between us. I will miss you everyday but will never forget to work hard and make you as proud as ever!

To ALL the Fathers and OR Mothers out there that are doing all they can to raise their children with love and support them with their dreams: Bravo, pat on the back, golden star, and a lifetime of well done!

For all that this applies to: H A P P Y F A T H E R S D A Y !!!

Love, Ash