So much has happened in such little time...

MISSION UPDATE:
Well the Mission papers are all finished and sent in! They do them online now so its nice and quick except for the dental and physical forms that have to get printed, examined and then mailed in which I just got done recently! Teeth - check, good shape - check, physical - check, blood type - o positive, tb- check, passport- check, immunizations- all done! WHOOO! Now I wait for Bishop Day to call & schedule me to come in & meet with him & President Gubler to finalize it & hit the SEND button online where it will get sent up to the First Presidency! Im very excited for that last moment & for what is ahead of me! I have NO CLUE where I'll be called to but everyone ALWAYS jokes with me about it. Some think Australia, Germany, or Italy but most think South America. Ofcourse you then have a lot of Return Missionaries joking around saying, "yeah right Ash you will totally get sent to a temple mission probably even Salt Lake haha!" They just want to ginx me because everyone knows how bad I want to go out of the country. BUT WHERE EVER I am sent I will be so excited because the Lord knows whats best and he knows where Ill be of the most help. I am most excited for the people I will grow close to and get to know. I have a feeling I might get paired up with a few difficult people along the way and I cant wait to do my best at being the person they needed to meet to help them and encourage them. I go to the Dixie College Singles 1st Ward and its been so awesome. I love everyone there and Im impressed with how many Sisters we have had want to serve missions! Its so awesome! I guess these young women are just putting on the shield and preparing for these Latter-Days just as Gordon B. Hinckley has stated:
"In these Latter Days we are to broaden and intensify the missionary work of the Church... as far as other lands across the world, I am confident that the Lord will open the way when it is time for us to take advantage of it and spread the truth of the gospel to all people"
As other Authorities of our Church have said "...There will be a great number of chosen daughters that will be shaped and refined to have the desire to serve with all their hearts in these Latter-Days... These daughters will help us not only bring the Gospel to all in need but also prepare themselves to be as strong mothers for the future generations of Priesthood holders for the millenium!"
How incredible it feels to be a part of that group of women that has that sincere and intense desire to serve! I'm so grateful for the things that have made me stronger to bring me to this point in my life. Im so grateful for each and every person who have done anything to help or encourage me along the way. You all have made a big difference I promise you that! Now that my papers are all in I need to get ahold of my Sister Missionaries and go out on lessons more often. Most of them are going home in June and July and im so sad for them to leave! Ive grown to literally love them all and each of their personalities. Sister Lavaka and Sister Morris and Page say that they plan to fly back here for my farewell and i would be so grateful if they could because they stuck by my side teaching me so much this whole time and id love to have them say goodbye before I set off on the journey!

LIVING STATUS
Living with Michaela has been good we have just been getting a lot done! I dont know what I would do with out my best friend and her love and support all the time. We had a huge storage clean out and yard sale, re-did the house a bit and organized everything. I sold my bedroom set and I also got a lot of my stuff into my storage that i wont be needing on the mish and all ive got is clothes with me! Ill just say I LOVE living like a guy! In the sense that only having my clothes to worry about is real nice! Im excited for my mission to only live out of two suit cases with a mattress and alarm clock! A life where material ceases to matter. What a joy to be so simple and not worry about anything besides the Lords work! I'm stoked.
We live right by the post office so its nice to be able to walk there and put letters in the mail right after I write them. It will be good for Michaela when shes living here and i'm on the mission because she will be taking over all my accounts online and my mailbox. ill also be writing her with updates of things so its nice to have the post office next door.

BISHOPS WORDS
So I last spoke with Bishop Day on Sunday after church. I informed him of this heavy scary presence I had around me a little over a week ago and that it wouldnt leave. It made me feel worthless and down but no matter what I did or how much I prayed it wouldnt leave me and I suddenly became so sad. I thought of doubts like maybe I cant do this whole mission thing, maybe the Lord doesnt see that Im fit for it enough and its too hard. These are things ive always pushed out of my mind and I got so frustrated for not being able to shake these feelings or convince myself back into a good mood with faith in myself. Soon enough with help from my favorite Max Champ, Lisa, Michaela and her family, I was realizing what I need to do. I felt the need to be alone and sink into the scriptures for answers. As I started reading a thought came to mind. Nate Needham, an RM ive kind of been seeing recently told me to read The Miracle Of Forgiveness. Ironically this exact book happened to be sitting on our book shelf in our room because MJ just bought it. I started reading it and I couldnt stop. Just as my Blessing brought me peace in the midst of a lot of pain, this book expanded my knowledge and gave me comfort as well. With the knowledge that I gained I felt to pray. Once I prayed I had words flow from my mouth that came from a deeper part of my heart and I asked for strength to be sensitive to the spirits guidance. A little bit of time passed and as I was situated things in my room the movie called "On Sacred Ground" was on. The spirit suddenly impressed upon me to pay close attention to what was being said at that specific part of the film. I heard these exactly words "...Spencer Kimball being in England, felt this intense feeling of darkness and worry... when Joseph Smith had heard this by mail he said that he rojoiced in great happiness that he not only FELT but KNEW the gospel was about to be taught to many souls and much good was to be spread." Suddenly I felt as if those words were directly spoken to me by the Prophet Joseph and I felt the spirit in the room so strongly that my eyes teared and my heart was filled with peace. I then remembered how much the advisary doesnt want me nor anyone else to be happy. I stood up remembering my calling to this work with a greater strength than even before and said to myself I wont fail. When I shared that experience with the Bishop he smiled and recited almost a similar story to me. He explained that there was an Authority of the quorom of the twelve who had this dark wrestlessness and had to struggle with it in his room for a while until he learned/gained what was needed. The next day he was called to be an Apostle and said he wondered about his experience until he conversed with the rest of them and they too had similar experiences right before there was about to be a great work they were called to. The greatness of those experiences are linked directly to faith. Thats the anchor that holds us intact when things get stormy and winds try to tatter and tear us down. Faith if truly applied, will then in turn, bring us the greater clarity than before and we will be able to better recognize the peace we gain from enduring our trials well. My Bishop is awesome. He throughly gives me all the council I need to hear at that specific time and has faith in me to do it. I always feel so good walking out of there. Sometimes you dont even recognize the strong feeling of the spirit til you walk back out into the world and getting in my car I felt grateful to have met with him.

FAM SITUATION and JESS'S ENCOURAGEMENT
Never really hear from Mom. "I work all the time, im too busy" is the usual thing I hear if I ever even do hear from her. When I try and talk to her she is always in a rush to get off the phone. I miss her more than anything but ive gotten to the point where I no longer expect her to be there. I'm doing everything on my own and im proud of myself for not giving up or going down the wrong path. I recently talked more in detail to my friend Jess at church about her living situation and to my surprise, we have much more in common than I thought. She lives with the Goodrich family because they met her on her mission here in St. George and asked her to come back to live when she was finished serving. Well she informed me of her family status not being close or active either and she warned/encouraged me: "... My mom said that she would write me and send me things in the mail and I thought she would but not once did I get really anything at all from family on my mission, and it was the hardest thing to see other missionaries and their bond with their family letters, but I held my chin up and knew that it wasnt my earthly parents I was serving, it was my Heavenly parents that were there guiding me along. So dont expect anything, just go to work and do your very best!" I suddenly felt we shared more of a common ground and she could understand me so therefore her words were what I needed to hear since shes already been through that step of her life and has come out strong. Its all about putting the most important things first in life, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. When that is first, you MAKE time for your family more. That time is so vital here on earth and Ill keep doing what I can to always be there for my family when they need me even though its difficult. Whether or not she talks to me the hardest but most important part is to keep writing her about the Gospel and pray that her heart will be softened and open to the truth again.