A phrase we all use yet we don't always remember...

T I M E ... I S ... P R E C I O U S

As I sit here with Trey all curled up in this fluffy blanket on my lap, I'm amazed. There are so many thoughts in my mind at this time about everything. "Shallow day" went up to Salt Lake to preform live on KUTV channel 2 news Thursday. So I stayed home with all their kiddos & unfortunately all of them were very sick with fevers & bad coughs. I love caring for them though. I made sure Dylan used his breathing vapor machine, Trey took his Motrin and Hailey too. Robin Vaughn and Gavin stayed the night too & didn't get much sleep from being so worried about their fevers.

"Shallow day" did awesome & the kids were so proud to see their mom & dad on the news. They all just got back late last night and unpacked all the band stuff back into the house. If theres anything I want in my life forever its music. I hope to always have that passion & always raise my children with the appreciation for it also. Im so happy for "Shallow day" they all work hard & really deserve all the support & success. They are all very humble & put family 1st.

My Mom ended up calling me at midnight last week, (not sure if I blogged this yet) turns out the guy she has been seeing & living with has kept a lot of things from her that he shouldn't have. His temper has always been one of many reasons I don't care for him & my prayers have been answered by the fact that she's not wanting to put up with it anymore. We helped her move out til 5 a.m. I have prayed for so long for my mom to gain the strength to leave him. I have prayed for so long for her to have clarity to see a better future with someone that actually deserves her and loves her more than she could ever imagine. She seemed strong until last night when I called her and she cried to me on the phone saying she probably made a mistake. It hurts me so much to see her hurt but it hurts even more to see her want to run back to the person who causes all that hurt. It hurts me that she can't look ahead to what Heavenly Father wants her to see is possible if she will just move forward & let him guide her. There is an amazing guy fit just right for her somewhere out there if she would just be strong and trust Heavenly Father. I will continue to pray for her & hope that she will come around & want to go back to church again, & want to see her life transform before her eyes & blessings blossom more as she chooses to do whats right. It would heal our entire family, it would give light to my little sister, it would strengthen me for my mission & it would make our family more bonded & happy again.

I'm going to do my best & hope that I can inspire my mom to be stronger & live better for herself. Its all in the Lord's hands now & I have faith in that.

I met with the Bishop again this last Tuesday & it went awesome. We talked about my Patriarchal Blessing, my schedule, my goals/plans, missionary discussions, my progress in my calling, school, & my mission. I think I have found the one I want on my missionary plaque. Not perfectly sure though so I wont state it yet but its a good one for sure.

As I sit here with Trey Im so happy. He brings so much joy to my life everyday. I just put Enya on the computer and he curls right up in my arms. I just stare at him and my heart is filled with so much love for him. I just cant think of much else except always wanting to protect him and love and cherish him. They all grow up so fast. I hold his tiny hands and thank Heavenly Father for the effect small children can have on adults. I love feeling his big heart beating in that small little body of his. I know for a fact that our Eternal Father in Heaven feels the exact same about each of us. Individually, he knows us. He created us. He knows whats best & he is the number one person rooting for us to succeed & gain happiness in this life & salvation in the next.

I testify that he hurts when we hurt. He is sad when we are sad but NO problem of ours is too small for him to pay attention to. NO problem is too big for him to heal for us. He loves us & watches us closely throughout all our days. Hoping we will love him back & listen to him.

The gift and beauty of life is such an incredible thing. Its so precious.

With all things there is a time frame. Time is precious as well.

Time is vital.

I was just thinking about a lot yesterday. How my Mom is in her later 40's and I see her wasting so much time putting off the gospel in her life. Wasting time with men that are not worthy of her potential because they take her for granted. I see my life and want to be so cautious to not ever WASTE any of my time here. I want so much to pay attention to the present and always prepare for the future. I have payed much more attention to the warmth on the sunny days and the smell of the flowers and the kind words of a caring person. I have a greater appreciation for everyone. People tell me, no worries, your mission is SO far away, but honestly its really not. I get my call in 19 weeks! Each week that passes by I say to myself holy cow where did the week go? Time flys & I wanna make sure Im flying at the right pace with it. I have such big plans to accomplish before my mission & i wanna savor every second spent with family & friends that are going to grow & move while im gone. I want to leave a positive mark in the hearts of those I love so they might know my appreciation for them even when Im gone.

Wow 2009 is gone! SO much happened to me in 2009. I think it was like five years worth of learning experiences jam packed into one year. Time is to be used wisely & I want to make sure that I do exactly that this year.

"the more you celebrate every little thing in life,

the more things there will be to celebrate!"

-my Dove chocolate :)

now GET OUT THERE, LEND A HELPING HAND, MAKE SOMEONE SMILE, KEEP AN OPEN EYE FOR OPPORTUNITY TO SPREAD THE LOVE. GO CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE!!!

I love & appreciate all of you that have crossed my path, I want you each to know that I NEVER forget anyone that have left a smile in my heart somehow. I love and appreciate you so much. Thank you for all you have done, big or small, then or now. If you ever feel lonely or down just be reminded that you are making a difference to everyone you come in contact with everyday. If I know you and we talk, you make a difference to me, THANK YOU.

xoxoxox ASHLEY ANN GILLUM